The Apprentice: Episode Three

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Once again the most impressive thing about the candidates is their ability to go from lying in bed to suited and booted and getting into their cars in less than 20 minutes. James even had time to blow-dry his armpits.  Next week, Karren should chuck in a smoke grenade, just to liven things up.

Their task this week was to make, and sell, scented candles.  Siralanlordsugar informed Team Tenacity (named, I think, after an absorbency product) and Team Nowt Nor Summit (I may not have heard this aright) that this market was all about the margins.  One knew, immediately, that this phrase would come back to haunt them.

Project manager Katie Bulmer-Cooke (who is from Sunderland and therefore NOT a Geordie, people of Twitter) keenly informed her team that cheap ingredients mean better margins; the rest of the team looked concerned that the might just have to stick a wick in a box of Surf and flog that, but sense prevailed.

Team Tenacity’s candles were urine yellow (I told you there was a link with absorbency).  Team Summit produced by far the superior product, being  posh, sleek and everything one would expect of an expensive scented candle. Naturally project manager Roisin (an accountant, for God’s sake) chose to forget everything Lordsugarsiralan said about margins and used expensive ingredients she then sold cheaply, whereas Katie did the opposite. It wasn’t hard to see where all this was going.  Best line of the night went to Katie, who closed a sale to a pub owner with the immortal line: “Edad be pairfect fa toyletts.”

And so Katie’s team won; they were rewarded with the opportunity to apply £1.99 face packs to each other and sit in a small paddling pool, or as Lordalansirsugar called it, a “day at a luxury spa”.  Man, this year’s treats BLOW.

Back in the boardroom, Lindsay admitted that she hadn’t achieved very much and her team mates rounded on her like a pride of lions suddenly spotting a bison with a bit of a limp.  She looked relieved to be fired.  Nurun, who wore the perpetual expression of a woman who has accidentally flushed the family hamster down the loo and doesn’t know how to tell the children, also fell victim to Sugarsirlordalan’s moving finger.

Next week is the best week of every series: the one where they have to create their own advertising campaign.  Can’t wait.

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4 thoughts on “The Apprentice: Episode Three

  1. I have a theory on this, I think that Lindsay told the producers she wanted to leave as it wasn’t for her so they made it look like she was fired. She didn’t want to be there and didn’t put up any fight at all. I think she had realized you have to be a total fame hungry pleb to win the show.

    Liked by 1 person

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