Tonight’s episode began with Jimmy playing an hilarious prank on his camp mates. Tee hee hee. He hid some dragon fruit. Ha ha ha. How they all laughed. Ho ho ho. Oh no hang on, they didn’t. Jimmy is not funny.
Mel did her trial – “Hell’s Kitchen” – which featured a variety of the usual jungle critters, none of which frightened her at all. Mel is HARD. Because she’s NORTHERN. She was incredible. I love Mel.
The CIA group had to organise a pool party in order to win the final care package (not, as its name implies, a Red Cross parcel of Werthers Originals and absorbency pads, rather something sent to each celeb from their families). Titchy wasn’t keen on joining in, “Me an’ cole doan mix” but was eventually persuaded. Jimmy picked up Edwina and attempted, not entirely successfully, to bounce her up and down in his puny arms. “Edwina lavved it,” Jimmy declared. We’ll take your word for it, Jimbo.
The group then revealed, in an unpleasantly self-satisfied manner, the news that they had been acting as CIA agents. A stony-faced Foggy eyed them balefully. I suspect his bromance with Jimmy is OVAH. They then opened their parcels from home, which caused some of them to blub like a prisoner on Death Row just before receiving the lethal injection. There’s far too much unnecessary crying on television. Stop it, all of you.
The live bush tucker trial was conducted by sex pest Jake, possibly due to Kendra’s husband having the phone number to vote for Jake on speed dial. Unlike Gillian McKeith, he chose not to fall to the floor in the kind of faint that renders you unconscious yet miraculously able to adjust your t-shirt, and instead announced that he was up for it. “It” turned out to be based on ITV’s The Cube which I have never watched but must be monumentally boring if this trial was anything to go by. Jake did well.
Ant and Dec then sprang on Jimmy that he had to do a bonus trial, entitled “Misery Match”. What could that entail? Perhaps Jimmy will be trapped in a box with a giant scorpion, and is only allowed out when the scorpion laughs. Here’s hoping.