I’m A Celebrity – Day Nine


The slebs have been in the jungle for a week now (slightly less for Eggy and the Sex Pest) and in true Lord of the Flies fashion, started to turn on one another.  Thank God. Who wants to watch a group of people getting on?

“Sax are, like, the number wan pryaritee round here,” whinged Kendra on discovering she was short of a pair.  Some people might have said that having food to eat ranks rather higher on the list of staying alive priorities, but the Playboy Mansion doyenne knows differently. Sax are where it’s at. Sorry, socks.

Jimmy, whose resemblance to Grandma Walton grows stronger every day, won a bonus task that a nine year old could have completed with ease. He behaved as though he’d just run the bulls of Pamplona on his way to ascending Everest on a pogo stick.  Jimmy is a small man with a big ego. One thinks of Napoleon. One thinks of Kim Jong-il. One thinks of Kermit the Frog.

Anyhoo, back to Kendra. “My holl life has been documented,” she confided in Michael Buerk, who looked unmoved by this information.  Kendra then unwisely dropped the bomb that she believed “you shouldn’t live your life for other people.” Eggy didn’t agree and argued that this wasn’t a particularly generous attitude.  Kendra lost all sense of reason, not to mention grammar, and started screeching to Eggs that she should “get the f*** outta here you f***ing evil f*** go back to f***ing sleep where you BEELON, ahm tryin’ to be HEARTFUL here!”  Eds said nothing, as she was expending all her energy on balancing a woolly mammoth on her head.

Kendra, of course, has been voted to do the next trial. It involves rescuing other camp mates. They’ve no chance.




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