A shorter than usual Celeb review, due to my watching The Apprentice which was broadcast at the same time. Soz. Anyhoo, I saw it from the treasure chest task onwards. It seemed complicated, and involved maps and helicopters and Titchy, sorry, Tinchy, and Nadia running through the jungle very slowly and complaining about it raining. “This weather couldn’t be worse,” sniped Tinchy to camera, as he stood in a light drizzle. Meanwhile some other camp mates pratted about self-importantly with locks and keys. Jason Bourne it was not.
Everyone had to rescue Jimmy and Foggy. I’d have rescued Foggy and left Jimmy and his Greying Bun Of Despair to fend for themselves, but I am made of crueller stuff than the camp mates.
Finally they were all reunited and “we oll gave each other a big famlee hog”, according to Kendra. They won 10 stars. I’m not going to lie, I had no idea what was happening. But they got a decent meal, and although Jake revealed he had no idea what aubergines were – “purple” he discerned – he reckoned the meal was “just like being at Jamie Oliver’s restaurant”. Imagine if Jake had won the X Factor competition and all the money that goes with it. Tamara Ecclestone would have nothing on him. Goodbye Asda Smart Price, hello Sainsburys own label.
Kendra’s doing the next trial. Again. Vote for someone else, guys. This is getting boring.