It’s all got a little tetchy in the jungle. Nadia shared her disquiet about the two tribes arrangement with Tinchy over a joint teeth-brushing session. “Arrgar bluargh ffwooogh larghagh pwoosh,” she confided. Tinchy nodded sagely.
Edwina, voted to do the trial, got herself ready for the adventure by performing a few physical jerks whilst lying on her bed, mainly trying to lift her leg over her head. Bad sight of the week, folks.
She had to find 10 stars – yadda, yadda, yadda, you know the drill – in dark rooms filled with jungle critters who were about as pleased to see Edwina’s face looming over them as Norma Major. Cockroaches crawled up her shorts. Meal worms set up camp in her hair. Crabs nipped her fingers. Offal rained down on her like a biblical plague. Edwina wasn’t bothered. She steam-rollered through the trial like Schwarzenegger with a grudge and won eight stars.
Later in the day Eds and Fogs were up against one another for the two tribes challenge. It involved standing on rotating, er, things whilst maintaining constant pressure on a button. Edwina distracted herself from the overwhelming boredom of it by singing badly. “I sang badly,” she told us. The endless supply of bugs were scattered liberally over the pair of them. Nothing. A stream of what looked like slurry was tipped over their heads. Edwina continued to warble. Foggy looked rattled. Edwina won. Edwina is formidable.
Jimmy, who started off being annoying, has now ascended to the status of dear-god-someone-get-me-a-gun-please. Under the impression that making foul personal remarks to other people can be excused by the all-encompassing term “ban-tah”, he proceeded clumsily to insult Jake. Jake pretended he wasn’t upset by Jimmy’s suggestion that he had no talent and shouldn’t be there. “Arr shoodna sed vat,” admitted Jimmy, later. “Jast a bitta ban-tah foe.”
The slebs had to choose one member of each tribe who would represent them in the head to head trial. Unsurprisingly, it is to be Jake vs. Foggy. Jimmy’s Greying Bun of Despair drooped with disappointment at not making the cut. Don’t worry Jimz. It’s only ban-tah.