And so Jimmy “Bantz” Bullard said his farewells to the camp yesterday. “One or two of them were in tears,” said an incredulous Michael Buerk. “I mean, he’s not dead. He’s still here. They’ll see him in a few days.” That’s probably why they were crying, Michael.
Michael and Vicki nominated themselves for a trial, acutely aware that if they didn’t get a bit camera time they’d have to spend at least a week stuck in a hotel with Jimmy. The sight of two pensioners strapped to a slowly revolving wheel, stoically being dunked into a tank full of jungle critters, gladdened the heart. Vicki grabbed sponge balls from the tank as kilo of meal worms sat happily in her hair. Michael threw the sponge balls into a basket while cockroaches got cosily on first name terms with his beard. All that was missing was an orchestra playing “Land of Hope and Glory.”
Back in camp Foggy, who clearly sees himself as the alpha male now Jimmy is no longer humping his leg like a sex-starved poodle, made ominous noises about how if they didn’t bring home sufficient stars, there would be “discussions”. Pah. Oldies rule, Fogs. Live with it.
Jake and Kendra did the Treasure Chest task. They had to plunge into a foul-smelling pool while solving a riddle involving clocks and maths. “We are the worst two people to do this,” said Jake, glumly. Kendra made a few half-hearted innuendos. Jake briefly resurrected his sex pest persona in response. They solved the riddle. “Maaan, that felt goooo-udddd,” confirmed Kendra. Alas, it was all for nothing. Kendra changed her mind.”This SUCKS.” It was hard to disagree.
It was time to win letters from home. Memory task blah blah. Win a letter from home for your camp mate etc. Michael flunked it. So did Mel and Kendra. The letters were read out. “Proud of you…. you’re doing amazingly well…. love you….miss you… ” Michael’s grandchildren wrote to him to tell him they thought he was a dope. “This has not come as a revelation,” confessed Michael. Jake’s brother revealed Jake would be an uncle. Foggy’s dog sent its love.
There was a row about cooking and portions. Plus ça change. Nadia was voted out, probably because she’s relatively unknown and did nothing of interest. I can see Edwina getting to the final. Possibly with Mel and Michael. Or Foggy. What would I know?