It was the Strictly quarter finals, kicked off by Simon dancing the American Smooth. He was dressed in a white tuxedo jacket, black shirt and red bow tie, the kind of ensemble only ever seen on 60-something blokes who wore this visually offensive combination to their 1983 rugby club dinner, pulled one of the waitresses and therefore see no reason to change a winning formula.
Simon’s Foxtrot-based American Smooth was all showbiz jazz hands until it collapsed at the end due to Kristina’s mis-step. I felt sorry for them until they both made phone hands when Claudia was giving out their number for voters. Anyone who makes with the phone hand should be disqualified immediately, with no exceptions. They are on my LIST.
Flackers and Pash performed an Argentine Tango of astonishing complexity and confidence. Flackers is FIERCE. She is also, according to the Daily Mirror, favourite to win. Suits me.
Having called Pixie Lott and her partner Trent Ken and Barbie for weeks, the inevitable happened and they came out dressed as the plastic twosome. I haven’t warmed to Pixie and have no real reason for this; Frankie is almost as much of a stage school brat, yet I like her. Anyway, the dollies danced a competent cha cha cha, pretended not to mind when they didn’t score any 10s, and went back to the Mattel factory for a reboot.
Mark Wright danced a truly beautiful foxtrot with lots of Fred Astaire touches which made it great fun to watch and, judging by his grin throughout, was also great fun to dance. “I loved it,” admitted Craig. Jake and Janette performed a circus-themed Charleston that was nothing short of awesome, even given his God-awful gurning.
Frankie and Kevin danced a Beyonce-inspired salsa. There was a WTF start where she worn a crystal-studded welding mask for no reason at all, given that the terrible Dave Arch singers weren’t warbling anything from Flashdance, and it was so fast there were a few haphazard moments, something the judges pointed out. Frankie took it well.
The waltz-a-thon was boring. The expression on Pixie’s face as she was announced winner said clearly: “Well OBVS.” This doesn’t go down well with viewers. She is a fabulous dancer, but there’s no journey, you see. Which is why, despite the judges bumping her up the leader board with her waltz-a-thon win, she must have come bottom in the public vote, and hence found herself in the dance off with Simon.
Simon won, to rapturous cheers from the Strictly audience and to an overwhelming YES from everybody on Twitter. To her credit, Pixie was gracious in defeat.
Just shows though – the Glitter Ball trophy could be anyone’s. This is one of the most exciting series of Strictly Come Dancing in a long time.